Back, back, back you’re back you’re back of course you’re back you’re here and your scent your voice Sonic sonic sonic sonic christ I missed you I need you I sonic sonic…
He gasped again, biting his lip to try and stifle his tears. I can’t I can’t control I cannot control my head is spinning he’s here he’s here and he
get away again.
He suddenly brought Sonic away from him to look directly at him, breathing heavily and digging deeply into his shoulders. “You won’t run a-away again, y-you understand? Not…no. Nngh.” He grit his teeth as he stared at him. “I want to…see you. I want to see you. I need to, I need to…have you. Yes. Have you. You’re, you’re mine…”
Shadow’s voice was shaking as well, and he suddenly became rigid, overwhelmed with the temptation of ripping his claws all through the blue hedgehog’s flesh, making him writhe, making him scream, scream for mercy—
—but that would mean I am hurting him…
Making him miserable…
His eyes shook and began to water openly, and he yanked him close once again, showering his head with uneven kisses. His hands still clawed down his back, shaking. “I-I’m…S-ssonic, Sonic I l-love…I n-need…nngh…y-you’re mine…!”
The misery rolling off of the black and red hedgehog was starting to get to Sonic himself, and his throat clogged up as he was drawn close to him again. He let out a bit of a whimper as he felt those hands further dig into his back, but craned his ears so he could hear what Shadow was saying. It wasn’t very coherent, but then again, was anything that he personally said? They were so far broken, weren’t they? So far broken, so incomplete. And his abuser was the very one he wanted to save. How messed up. How twisted.
He’d heard this before, he’d felt this before. It was the same caged feeling, a desire to help with his chronic hero syndrome battling hard against his need to self preserve what was left of himself. Not that there was much to be desired; the other hedgehog had effectively taken away what made him Sonic long ago. Long, long ago. And he doubted, by any means, he’d ever be fixed, as much as he would try to fix him.
You have me, you have me, he intoned soothingly, though his voice was flat. He was flat, just like everything else. He was gone, Sonic the Hedgehog was gone. His energy had been snuffed out before it could even manifest into something personal. I’m yours, I’m yours… As much as he didn’t want to be Shadow’s, he was. He always would be. There was very little he could do about it, especially within the other’s grasp, tight and desperate as it was.
He placed his hand flat on the other’s back and gently rubbed it as he would Tails’s. He had to be strong, he had to. He could learn to cry later, scream and wish things were different. But for now, he had to be stable, because Shadow sure couldn’t.
He swallowed thick, then took a step forward, eyes darting all over his body. Slowly, he put his hands on his shoulders, muttering “Sonic” under his breath and bringing his face closer to his ear. As he was close enough, he gave it a bite, then without warning, he clawed his shoulders, gasping and shuddering. His eyes squeezed shut.
The ragged breath in his ear was the painful reminder of why Sonic even forgave Shadow for this kind of behavior in the first place. He was suffering, clearly suffering, and the blue hedgehog was a loss as to what to do. He wanted to help him so badly; he may’ve not returned his feelings, but he was still a friend…or was he anymore? He didn’t know, honestly. They were playing a sick game with each other, and he didn’t know how much longer he would be able to take playing it.
He let out a sharp cry when he felt the bite and gritted his teeth when the black and red hedgehog clawed his back mercilessly — but there was something to it that made Sonic swallow hard and realize this wasn’t just some random act, some random desire for maliciousness. Unlike the times before. He was crying, he was crying, he was suffering.
He’d panicked while Sonic was away.
And it was this knowledge that made the blue hedgehog draw his own arms back around him and try to hold him, ignoring the pain and the prickling sensation at his own eyes. I’m back, I’m back, he whispered. I’m sorry for leaving. I’m back. Despite how much he wavered internally, those were the most stabilized sentences he’d said in a long time.
Hrm, Sonic. Sonic. (he looks shaky on his feet, eyes glassy) You're here. You're here again.
In…in a sense.
Sonic gave Shadow a weak smile.
Please don’t hurt me again…
-Narrowing her eyes for a brief moment, Shadow approached the other carefully and waved her hand in his line of vision, trying to catch his attention once more.-
Well, he could think that, but he’d never hear it. And he has snapped at you? So my guess was correct? He has harmed you?
-Curiosity struck her, her eyes scanning over Sonic’s body, trying to find some kind of scars or bruises to indicate that his imposter has indeed caused Sonic some harm.-
Oh, no no no. The vulnerability set in, the vulnerability crushing him and wringing him together, and he closed his arms around himself to guard himself from Shadow’s prying eyes. He knew this only made the black swirls that the black hedgehog had used to “mark” him on his shoulders more visible, but in the least bit he could cover the other marks that scarred his body.
He didn’t want to be seen, he didn’t want to be questioned. He felt sick.
Sonic’s gaze was desperate as it locked onto Shadow’s after a huge swallow and summoning of the remaining bravado he had left.
It’s not hard to speak to you at all, I don’t mind that you are jumpy and such.
… But um, the same face as his? Has an imposter of mine harmed you? Is that why you are so jumpy around me?
Sonic barked out a laugh that was a lot more bitter than he intended it to be.
He would snap on you if he heard you call him that. Or something close. Or maybe not at all, who knows? He’s snapped on me enough times for little reason at all.
Well, other than the fact he’s obsessed with me. Very obsessed.
Probably think something freaky, like wondering what sound you’d make if he yanked on your ears…
The blue hedgehog’s eyes glazed over as he stared into the distance, as if seemingly in another world…one far more horrifying than the one present.
… Don’t apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for.
Well, sure I do… I mean, it’s probably really hard to talk to me sometimes. Sometimes, more like a lot of the time. Because I’m so jumpy, you know? And fidgety. And I swear, I wasn’t always like this… It’s been recent. Very recent. Well, maybe not very. Just…
It doesn’t help that your face is the same as his…
I doubt you could ever truly upset me, Sonic.
I should be telling you not to worry. I think I have pointed out before, you seem rather jumpy compared to my Bluebell.
Sonic’s ears pressed flat against his head.
unwillingspeedywhim replied to your post: I’m sorry our discussion before stopped. Hey.. Hey, wait! Are you..?
Weren’t you a guy the last I talked to you…?
Ah… Yes, a little incident with the people named ‘magic anons’. It should wear off sometime soon.
Just do not refer to me as ‘babe’.
I…I won’t, don’t worry about it! I don’t want to make you upset.
Because, you know, making Shadow upset usually meant something Very Bad, although sometimes it would happen regardless.
Hey! Hey everyone! It’s been a while, sorry. Hi there.